Letter to my daughter in Poland

My eldest daughter has spent the past week in Poland with her school. From the time we arrived in Israel and she learned that most schools here make the trip to Poland in 11th or 12th grade, she said she wanted to go. Since last May, when she signed up for the trip, the school has spent days and weeks educating the girls, both historically and psychologically, what to expect. They left before dawn last Monday morning, arriving in a cold, wet Warsaw around 8am, and went immediately to a Jewish cemetery. They have traveled the routes traveled by our own ancestors, visited towns and cities where Judaism once thrived, and seen the horrors of Treblinka, Majdenak, and the woods of Zbylitowska Góra where there are mass graves of Jews, including thousands of children, shot to death by the Nazis. Tomorrow, Sunday, is the final day of the trip, one that is spent at Auschwitz-Birkenau. Parents were asked to send a letter to their daughters for them to read over Shabbat, which they spent in the city of Krakow. Below is an edited version of the letter that I wrote to my daughter. It was originally written 2 weeks ago, but I have modified it slightly to reflect the anti-semitic murderous attack that killed 11 Jews in Pittsburgh just one week ago.

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<<I am writing this on Erev Shabbat Lech Lecha, when Hashem commanded Avram to leave his homeland and his birthplace, and to go the land that Hashem would show him. In the parasha, we see Avram’s blind faith in Hashem, how he was willing to leave behind everything that was familiar to him, to follow Hashem.

For thousands of years, the Jewish people yearned to return to Zion, to the Land of Israel, after the exile and the destruction of the Beit haMikdash. The area that makes up the Promised Land has been controlled by so many different powers during these years of Diaspora, and each of these governing people played some role in making sure there was no official Jewish homeland.

Finally, in 1947, immediately following the genocide committed in Europe by Hitler and the Nazis, the British Mandate came good on the Balfour Declaration of 1917, to give the Jewish people their own state. There are those who believe that the only reason the modern state of Israel exists is due to the guilt felt by the world following the Shoah. These people believe that if it weren’t for the Shoah, we would never have our State of Israel, and we would not have been able to establish a Jewish homeland in the Biblical land that was promised to Avraham our patriarch in Parashat Lech Lecha.  I choose to believe differently. I believe that while the Shoah was a factor in us getting back our homeland, the realization of the dream, the establishment of the state, is nothing short of a miracle. You see, as soon as Israel declared independence, all Arab nations surrounding us declared war on us. We had no proper army. Our army was made up of various underground movements who had resisted British, a haphazard group of people with little military training. We had newly arrived immigrants from Europe, (many of whom had arrived illegally, due to British limitations set on the number of Jews allowed to land in Israel in those post-war years) survivors of horrors worse than anyone could imagine, recovering from years of starvation and illness and mistreatment at the hands of the Nazis, who immediately joined forces to fight for their new homeland. It is only by God’s Hand that Israel won that war. As you know, that was only the first war, many more have followed, and still our enemies try to wipe us from the face of the Earth.

When I asked if you were anxious about your trip to Poland, you answered that you were not. You said that you hoped to get some clarity from it, some more understanding of what happened, and to find some connection to your past, to our past.

I have never been to Poland, nor do I have any desire to go. From what I understand from others who have made the trip, the last day is the hardest day.  Auschwitz-Birkenau is always described as devastating – people who didn’t know they could feel such deep emotion, describe how it is impossible not to feel the souls of all those murdered there. Just the sheer size of the place, makes it impossible to digest how many were murdered there.

Yours is the second generation to grow up with the State of Israel as fact and reality, rather than a dream and a prayer. It is difficult to communicate to you and to your siblings and friends, the true meaning of Zionism and why it is so important. Your great-grandparents, and even your grandparents, remember the declaration of the State of Israel in 1948. They remember the 1967 Six Day War, which resulted in a unified, free Jerusalem, giving us access to the Old City and the remnants of the Beit haMikdash. It is easy to take this for granted today – that you can hop on a bus and then the light rail in Jerusalem, and show up at the Kotel whenever you feel like it. But we must never take any of it for granted. We must always remember the days when we didn’t have a country of our own, and when we had a country of our own, but no access to the holiest of places for the Jewish people.

Today’s fight is different. We have to continue to fight the BDS movement which does its best to put Israel in a negative light all around the world. When we hear people saying that Israel is an apartheid country it is up to us to show the world that this is not the case.  The Palestinians do not want a 2 state solution – their vision is a single state that is devoid of all Jews. As a Jew, and as an Israeli, it is your job and your duty to educate others, to make sure that they see the truth, the real Israel.

As we learned last Saturday night, anti-semitism is alive and well. Exactly one week ago, eleven Jews, praying in their synagogue on Shabbat morning, just as we do every single week, were murdered, in an act not unlike those carried out by Nazis nearly 80 years ago. It can happen in Pittsburgh. It can happen anywhere. Where there are Jews, there are anti-semites.

I have no doubt that you will return from this trip changed. How can anyone visit Poland, and see what was lost, and not come back feeling changed? When we meet up at the Kotel on Monday morning, look at it with new eyes. Don’t take it for granted. Don’t see an ancient wall. Look again, and see all that is left of the Beit HaMikdash. Look again, and see the miracle that enabled us to reunite Jerusalem in 1967. Look again, and see how God is a part of everything that happens in Eretz Yisrael and Medinat  Yisrael. Look again, and see how the existence of the State of Israel is not a direct result of the Shoah, but the realization of a promise, and of a dream of thousands of years.

I can’t wait to see you on Monday morning. I am sure tomorrow will be a tough day, but hopefully you will return empowered, and believing that God exists, even though we may not understand how He works, and why He makes things happen the way that they do.  I pray that this trip has been all that you expected it to be, and that you return feeling proud to be Jewish and proud to be Israeli.>>

 

At The End Of The Day

It’s another day over…

October is half way done, next it will be Thanksgiving and Chanukah, and I realize I haven’t really updated on how school is going for the kids.

Most of the time, I judge how their day has been by whether they are smiling when they get off the bus in the afternoon. I know that they’re happy when they jump out of the car in the morning to get on the bus.

Last week I had the opportunity to watch them at school a little bit. I volunteered to work at the Scholastic book fair. I was at school every day from about 8:30 until noon or later. And now I can say that not only are the kids apparently happy at school, but they are happy at school. I was able to spy on them with their friends at lunch, watch them interact with their teachers and peers, and see for myself that they are all happy and surrounded by new friends.

I saw how much the kids like their teachers, how they want to sit with them and chat at lunch time. The diversity of children at the school is wide, and the diversity of my kids’ friends makes me really happy. Yes, they each seem to have found the other religious Jewish kids in their grades, however, they each have friends who are completely different to them – in race, religion and nationality.

The level of learning is good. I know nothing about common core or anything else, but I do know that when my kids are not challenged, they don’t like to do their work. They all do their homework, mostly without complaint, and the amount of homework is appropriate for each grade. My 6th grader rarely has more than 45 minutes of homework, unless she has a project to do. My 4th grader usually finishes his homework during the 30 minutes of after care before the bus, and my first grader has about 10 minutes of homework. The teachers are meticulous about posting grades to the online system, which makes it a doddle to keep track, not to mention how easy it is to find out when homework is due.

Obviously, as it’s public school, Keith & I still have to provide a Judaics education to our kids. So it’s a good job they don’t have too much homework, because we learn with them daily. It also means getting up earlier than strictly necessary, so that they all have time to daven in the morning before going to the bus. The bus leaves at 7am, so we are up by 6. A number of people, upon hearing this have said things like “we could never put our kids in public school. We’d never get them to daven”. And when I hear this, it just makes me sad, because I feel that we are in a better place now as parents, in so many ways. Out of necessity, we are forced to “Veshinantam leVanecha”, something that many Jewish parents no longer do, because their kids are in day school. Nothing makes my heart swell more than watching my 1st grade daughter bowing as she says shmona esreh, which I’ve been teaching her.

Do I wish we’d done it sooner? In brief, no. I’m glad we had last year at home, happy to have had the time to get to know my children better, and to understand how each of them learns. The break was nice, and now I look forward to early release days and days off here and there, when we can just hang out and have fun.

Summer’s over

Three days of orientation/open house/meet the teachers.

Middle School orientation was first. This was a bit overwhelming for both me, and my new Middle Schooler. New school, don’t know anyone, first time in public school, no idea who is who, what is what. But we both got a good feel from the place. There’s nothing more encouraging to me, as a parent, to see returning students hugging the teachers that they haven’t seen since June. Surely that’s a good sign? My 6th grader though so. She reckons the teachers must be nice if the kids are all happy to see them.

I was pleasantly surprised at the number of kippot, and mothers whose hair was covered. I am torn as to whether this is a good or bad thing. On the one hand, it is good for my kid, as it means she is not the only frum kid in the Middle School. On the other hand, it makes me sad that so many frum families have had to move to Hebrew language charter schools, rather than stay in Jewish day schools. And yes, I believe that most, if not all, the families there, are there because day school is no longer an option.

My first and fourth graders had their “meet the teacher” days, and while neither of them know anyone in their grades, they were both made to feel welcome by the teachers and by the other kids in the classroom.

The night before school, we laid out the uniforms, reminded the kids what needs to get done in the morning before leaving the house at 6:55 (up, dressed, breakfast, daven, brush hair, brush teeth, grab lunch & backpack). They asked to be woken at 6:15 which I thought was a stretch, but that’s what we did.

This morning dawned very early for me. I got up at 6am, dressed quickly and proceeded to wake the kids at 6:15. My son and my eldest daughter got up, got dressed etc. and were both ready to go on time. My youngest needed more time. So we need to wake her a little earlier. And my eldest could have done with a few more minutes too – she has a lot of hair to brush!

We drove to the bus stop where a handful of other kids were already waiting. The bus arrived at 7am, and the kids who took the bus last year were thrilled to see him “It’s the nice driver! The one we like!” The driver himself spoke to the parents once all the kids were safely loaded and promised to arrive a few minutes before 7 from now on, and to wait until 7:05 to leave. As the bus pulled away, my 3 kids looked out the window. I expected to see anxious looks, even some tears, but instead all I saw was 3 beautiful, smiley faces, happily waving, as they started the first step in their next educational journey.

Hopefully when I pick them up from the bus in a couple of hours, they’ll still be smiling, and God Willing, the entire year will be full of smiling, happy children!

I hope your kids all got off to a great start to the school year too!

It’s the end of the year as we know it

Kids all excited to see Guinness again on our return from London & Dublin in December

It’s been a loooooooong time since I could sit down at the computer and blog. I rarely get to use my own PC these days, as there’s always one child or another using it for lessons. Our school year is over and done. I have a 5th grader who is ready for Middle School. I have a 3rd grader who suddenly has his nose in a book constantly. And I have a kindergartener who can read & write in English and Hebrew, taught by yours truly.

We have had an amazing, crazy, tiring year. It’s been 10 months of endless time with my kids. 10 months of watching them learn, seeing them grow and learning with and from them. 10 months of sheer pleasure, spending every waking moment with the little people I gave birth to.

Whaaaat?! You don’t believe me?

Ok, okay. It’s mostly true. No really! Home schooling your kids is possibly one of the most selfless decisions a parent can make. Especially a parent used to having kids in school from 8am til 4pm. You basically give over your life to others, and it is not easy to keep that up for an entire school year with almost no break. When I did have a break (i.e a couple of child-free hours one afternoon per week) I generally spent it running around doing errands to benefit the same little people. I tried hard to take 30 minutes every day for myself, where I closed the bedroom door and relaxed with a book, or called my sister, but that didn’t always pan out.

We finish this school year feeling full of achievement. I have grown closer to my children simply by being with them all the time. We have met some wonderful people through the various homeschool groups that we joined, from many different walks of life. We have met families who home school for so many different reasons. Some due to their faith, others who have extremely gifted children, some who just love to travel and don’t want to be tied down and some with very special children for whom no school was a fit. I really enjoyed meeting such a diverse group of people, and the kids have learned so much through meeting so many different kids.

Home schooling allowed us to travel to London and Dublin in December for 3 weeks without worrying about missing school. It allowed us to go on field trips on our own, or with other home school families. We enjoyed picnics in Hollywood, Palm Beach, Boca and Boynton. We got to play outside in the middle of the day just because it was too nice out to be stuck indoors learning. We got to ride bikes and take the dog to the park when our friends were in school. My children learned to make challah, to bake cakes, cook chicken, make pizza from scratch. They got to watch the vet examine the dog and were able to ask her questions and get lots of answers. My daughter learned how to create animations on a computer and my son learned to make a robot and program it to respond to noise. And so much more.

Ultimately, for this family, home schooling is not a long term choice. For the record, not one of my kids missed out socially this year. It is incredibly easy to socialize home schooled kids, and they probably spent more time interacting with other people – adults and children – this year than they ever did at school. Camp is fast approaching, and all 3 kids will be in day camp all summer long. And when the school year rolls around again in August, they are all heading back to school. Last year’s Plan B is this year’s Plan A. All three kids have been accepted into Ben Gamla Plantation.

My husband will continue to teach the older two kids Judaics, and I will continue to teach the youngest Judaics for the next year. After next year? We have a whole new adventure planned, but more on that to come!

Last night my youngest got to go to her friends’ kindergarten graduation at Hillel. I worried that she’d be upset, but as it turns out, she was thrilled to cheer for them as the photo below shows:

Time 4 a Review

I promised a review of the online curriculum we are using, and well, between the holidays and life, I’m just now getting around to it.

For my 3rd and 5th graders we are using Time4learning.com for all their secular subjects. We are mostly very happy with it.

Content:
Time 4 Learning covers Language Arts, Language Arts Extensions, Math, Social Studies and Science. The content is grade appropriate for all subjects, and compared to what my kids had previously, very advanced in Social Studies. We are very happy with the level of Math – my 5th grader is challenged for the first time ever in Math – and Language Arts and extensions.

Presentation:
Language Arts and Language Arts Extensions are presented in a fun, interactive way. The material is fun and silly, yet serious enough that the kids are learning. Each unit has chapters within, and each chapter has lessons. After each set of lessons there is a quiz, and at the end of each unit is a test. Within Language Arts and Language Arts Extensions there are a lot of activities that require the students to answer questions, and if the topic is not understood they do a good job of explaining it next time around. Math is presented in a similar interactive fashion, but sometimes it is a little too interactive, and the focus of the lesson is lost. This makes it difficult sometimes for the kids to grasp the concept that is being taught. Math also has a number of printable worksheets, which help reinforce what is being learned, and the answer keys to those are available in the parent section.
Social Studies and Science are not presented in the same, fun manner. Both these subjects require a lot of onscreen reading, with no interactive sections. I have found it necessary to sit with the kids individually for both these subjects to make sure that they are covering all the material.

Ease of use:
In general, the kids are able to work independently in Language Arts, Language Arts Extensions and Math. Once in a while there is something that they need my help with. The reading comprehension exercises, the quizzes and the math practice all do a good job of explaining where the kids went wrong. There is a strong need for multiplication tables to be integrated into the curriculum somewhere – there is no instruction whatsoever on memorizing times tables, and multiplication and division just cannot be learned without this.

On the parental side, it is extremely easy to keep track of your children’s activity. Not only can you see how they score on each lesson, you can also see exactly how much time they spent on each activity. It is a piece of cake to pull up report cards, see where they are excelling and where they struggle, and figure out what needs more work and where they can relax a little bit. It’s not all perfect, however. Here are a few areas where I’d like to see some improvements:

1. Worksheets: Every time I have to correct a worksheet, I have to log in as a parent, and go to the lesson planner, click on whichever grade math, scroll down until I find the corresponding lesson, then look for the corresponding worksheet and then click on the answer. That’s a lot of steps. I’m homeschooling 3 kids at 3 levels – I don’t have a lot of free time, and I’d rather correct worksheets as they are done, and not have to leave it until late at night when I have the time to scroll through pages of lessons. There needs to be a way to search for the worksheet by it’s number, and have the answer key show up. Or, if there was a place within the lesson plan called “Math Worksheets” that pulls up only worksheets and the answer sheets, sorted by grade.

2. End of chapter/unit tests: These tests are multiple choice and they do a really good job of assessing the child’s knowledge of material covered. At the conclusion of the test your child sees which answers he got right or wrong. However, when the answer is incorrect, the correct answer is not marked for them to see. There have been times when even I am not sure of the correct answer – especially in a unit that I  haven’t sat in on – and it’s not helpful to the child if they don’t know what the answer is. They can redo these tests if necessary, but the questions will be different each time, so not helpful.

3. Odyssey writing assignments (disclaimer – so far we’ve only done one of these): Writing assignments are a parent’s responsibility to grade. They have to be “handed in” by the student virtually, in order to be marked complete. When you go to “hand in” the assignment, a list of teachers comes up that mean nothing – my daughter was looking for my  name. We had to call Time 4 learning and were told that she can “hand in” to any teacher on the list – it will then be marked complete. They provide a rubric to help grade the paper, but honestly, I still had a hard time doing it. I’m happy to grade written work, I can check grammar and spelling, but my knowledge of the subjects may be minimal, and again, I’m homeschooling 3 kids, I don’t have time to watch the videos and read the articles my daughter did, in order to make sure she wrote a good paper. It would be great if the rubric contained more information, rather than basic guidelines that are not specific to the paper in question. I know, I know, that’s a lot to ask.

4. Lesson & Activity Planner: This lists all the lessons available for each grade and subject, which is wonderful, because you can see exactly what your child is going to be learning, and even access each lesson or activity ahead of time. However, there is no way to know how long a lesson is (e.g. Language Arts Extensions – some of these lessons take as little as 10 minutes, while others take closer to 20. Same with Math – 3rd grade math lessons don’t seem to take more than 20 minutes each, but 5th grade takes 45). After the first few weeks I stopped using the lesson planner altogether, because my children were getting stressed out about completing enough lessons each day. In addition, if you want your child to learn things in a different order (like right now I have my 5th grader learning the chapter on political science in social studies, because of the upcoming elections) there is no way to put those lessons into your child’s organizer so she knows to that first. I would love to be able to assign lessons to the kids in a specific order and for it to appear that way in their dashboard.

5. Necessary materials and resources: There is a list of everything you need for science in each grade. There is also a reading list for each grade. What would be great, would be if at the beginning of each science activity it said “Today we will need x, y and z”. As for the reading material, it is hard to know what is actually required, and what is recommended.

All in all, we are happy with the program. I would love to see some of these things implemented – especially making it easier to find the worksheet answers. It’s a great curriculum, the content is age appropriate, the lessons are interesting and the price is right. In addition, the couple of times that I have called their 800 number or emailed for assistance, I have had excellent customer service, my questions have always been answered quickly and satisfactorily.

I would highly recommend Time4Learning as a homeschool curriculum, or even as an enrichment program for anyone who feels their child could use a little extra help in any of the subject areas – it’s definitely less money than hiring a tutor, and for many kids it likely will do as good a job.

G’mar Chatima Tova!

What with homeschooling and running a household, I barely have time to take a shower these days, let alone sit and blog!

It’s Erev Yom Kippur, and I know I’ve offended people during the past year, both on the blog and off the blog. Those of you whom I am aware of having insulted I have either called or emailed to ask in person for forgiveness. (If you got an email over a phone call, it is only because I have very little time to call people, most people who I spoke to over the phone initiated the phone call to me, rather than vice versa, just to clarify for anyone ready to get offended all over again!)

If I offended you, and I didn’t know that I did, please accept my deepest apologies, and forgive me. My intentions have never been to upset people, just to get people to think more and discuss more, and to hopefully bring about a just and affordable solution to one of the many crises the Jewish community faces.

I happen to be one of those individuals who likes Yom Kippur (well I really liked it before I was a mother, it’s harder to like it now when I’m spending so much time feeding the kids who seem to be so much more hungry on fast days than on any other day of the year!).

While I don’t love fasting, I find the day to be spiritually uplifting, full of hope and promise for the new year. I enjoy the davening for Yom Kippur, whether I am in shul or at home with the kids. The words in Vidui have so much meaning for everyone that they could have been written today, rather than centuries ago. I take my time over every word, making sure to understand what it is I’m praying for/about. At the end of mussaf on Yom Kippur I usually feel cleansed and lighthearted, ready for the rest of the day. I don’t usually go back to shul for mincha and ne’ilah now, because I stay home with the kids, but I daven at home and do the best I can to feel the power of the words while the kids eat dinner and play games around me.

The morning after Yom Kippur is special too. There’s that best cup of coffee of the year, but also that clean slate, the possibilities for the new year, the hope that you have been granted a “Ketiva veChatima Tova” – a good inscription and seal – and that you will merit to live another full year, of health, happiness and prosperity.

My wish to all my readers is that you should be inscribed in the Book of Life, that you should be blessed with a happy, healthy and prosperous new year, and that we should all merit to see the coming of Mashiach, bimhera beyhamenu (quickly, and in our lifetime) – le Shana HaBa’ah BeYerushalyim – Next year in Jerusalem, the undisputed, undivided capital of Israel.

Great Expectations – Who are we trying to impress?

When I first seriously began to consider homeschooling as an option, my research showed that children need a period of “deschooling”. I chose to disregard this advice. After all, the recommendation is a month of deschooling for every year your child has been in school!!! Now, I know most of my readers, and I can picture you sitting there reacting to that similarly to how I reacted. What?! Seriously? You’re kidding, right? So, say we only count kindergarten as a year (let’s pretend preschool never happened, even though we loved preschool), that means my 5th grader would have to take 5 months off from formal learning?! So she wouldn’t start “school” until January?

So like I said, I chose to ignore that advice, and we jumped straight into a relatively structured learning model. As I mentioned in last week’s post, we are using an online curriculum for secular studies for the older kids. We put together schedules for everyone, including me, so that each of the kids got to benefit equally from one on one time with mommy during lesson time. This worked very nicely for the first week. In fact, everything went very well the first week, as I mentioned in the blog. I was pleasantly surprised, and felt justified in jumping into school.

Then Tropical Storm Isaac bore down on Florida. I ran to the library and checked out books about weather systems, storms & hurricanes so we could learn about these natural phenomena. Oh, and school was closed Monday for all their friends. So we took a day off and they got to hang out with their buddies. And then the next day, when public schools were still closed, but their friends at HDS went back, we sat back down to work. And it didn’t go so smoothly. They were antsy. They were getting frustrated too easily. They didn’t want to stick to the lesson plans they had made for themselves. They didn’t want to do much of anything. And I felt pressure. And stress. After all, if I am to prove to doubtful family members that homeschooling can be successful, my kids MUST keep up. They absolutely have to learn daily in a somewhat formal manner. So I pushed them to stick to their schedules. By Wednesday I think our house may have started to crumble, but thankfully, I learned about karate classes for homeschooled kids on Wednesday mornings, and told the kids we were going. I’m sure it was the saving grace of the week. The older two got a great workout, met some new friends and are excited to go back. Even the little one wants to try next week.

Back home we sat down again to study after lunch. And the lack of concentration was apparent. Emotions were running high. They hated Mommy, they hated Daddy. They hated homeschooling, but they didn’t want to go back to school. They don’t want to learn anything at all. Learning is boring. Stupid. Annoying. A waste of time. Something had to change.

I began to reexamine the deschooling notion. Maybe there’s something to it. Perhaps we all have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and of each other. So Thursday morning when we got up, I told the kids to get dressed, daven (pray) and eat breakfast, and then I told them we’re not going to have formal classes today. We’re going to have fun. What would you like to do?

Oddly enough, they all said they’d like to do a couple of their online lessons before having fun. The youngest said she wanted to do more Hebrew reading. So we all sat down at around 9am for an hour or so and then we took a break. We put on the Wii, put in “Just Dance ABBA” and had a blast (and a great PE session). Everyone was laughing. Everyone was happy. The kids were all getting along. They were joking with Mommy instead of yelling at me. In fact, they were having so much fun that I got to sit down and write this, when earlier in the week I wondered if I would get to blog this week.

Once they’d had enough dancing we went to Target to take advantage of clearance on back to school supplies. We had a picnic lunch with the dog in the yard. We spent the afternoon doing art projects for Rosh Hashana (and learning laws of the holiday at the same time – ha! I did sneak some learning in there!).

I’m not sure I can bring myself to allow complete deschooling for a long period of time, but I humbly admit that I was wrong when I thought it was unnecessary.

We really don’t need to prove anything to anyone. We know that our kids are learning. We know that if we choose to go back into a school system at the end of this year, the kids will be up to where they need to be. This doesn’t worry us. So why should we worry at all about what others expect from us and our kids? As far as I’m concerned, as long as they are happy, healthy and mostly well behaved (in a child-like way), my expectations have been met.